Summer Conundrum: A Tale Of A First World Problem

When I had jobs that I reported to summertime was simple. I deserved a break. Guilt-free, I'd pack a book and a mini-cooler full of low-cal alcoholic beverages and head to the pool. After a long year of teaching, or an 80 hour work week meeting a deadline, I had no qualms with spending my day in total lazy relaxation. Those jobs weren't what I wanted to be doing with my life, but their time consumption justified whatever downtime I chose.

Skip to now and I hardly go to the pool  because I feel guilty just hanging out when I have work to do. Work that I haven't figured out...I'm having creative block and some kind of ADD in my non-airconditioned studio (seriously, if you are a doctor and don't think I'm too old for Ritalin, we should talk).   I've been told that I have a higher level of adrenaline in my system than perhaps normal, and unless I know exactly what I want to be working on (a commission for example) I spend more time conjuring ideas and changing my mind than actually trying them out. Before I know it, the day is almost over, and maybe, I just should have gone to the pool.

New Commission

I'm not doing nothing. I'm writing a lot (which you may, or may not ever see) and these paintings are new, but when working for myself, towards a somewhat unidentified end goal, I'm not doing enough until I know it's enough. I get off on having an idea and a time constraint that has me drinking SF Red Bulls and working all but 6 or so hours of 24. And, my friends, right now, that's just not happening.


(Maybe this is totally boring to y'all, and instead of writing this as a blog post, it should just have been an email to someone like my friend Hilton asking, Is this part of the crazy creative process, or am I just wasting time? He spends so many hours in the studio that I know he'd have an answer...)

New Commission

I wouldn't trade the life I live now for my old one, although it was more financially stable, perhaps more respectable to "grown ups," and easier on my brain. I love my freedom and the flexibility in my life, and working is never boring. I'm basically just thinking out loud here, but more likely just procrastinating.

New Painting In-progress

Anyhoo, I'll be in Miami the week after next. Travel always inspires, so maybe I'll figure something out there. Or maybe ideas will flow while I'm at an OC bachelorette party in August (Seacrets, you have a wide-strawed pina colada w/ my name all over it). The later should at least provide some entertaining photos to share here.


Also, I'd kind of like to talk about summer reading if anyone is interested in that. I've been going through a stack of books and am open to suggestions. 


I'm really going to go get something done now. Really.


xando,
-Fitz